Barbaric Bunnies

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Photo by Saad Walid on Unsplash

Nina: Nana all this social distancing is making me very lonely. Can I get a bunny? They are so cute and fluffy. I bet cuddling them is the perfect stress buster.

Nana: No way. You won’t remember to feed the damn thing, or clean its cage. You don’t even clean your own room.

Nina: Nana, I promise I’ll be responsible. Please. Besides, while I'm cuddling my bunny, I’ll be out of your hair. Nana, doesn’t that make it an enticing prospect?

Nana: Fine, but bunnies are too freaky. Pick something else.

Nina: Freaky? Whatever do you mean?

Nana: Well rabbits spread tularemia. I am an old man. It may kill me.

Nina: Oh Nana! Don’t be so dramatic. You do know that antibiotics exist, right?

Nana: Well hungry rabbits can be vicious, and who knows how often you’ll remember to feed yours.

Nina: A fluffy little cuddly bunny, vicious? Nana, you’re losing it.

Nana: Am I now? If the great Napoleon himself in his hay days was frightened away from a battle with bunnies, then why shouldn’t I be scared of them?

Nana: Are you serious, Nana?

Nana: Of course. Rabbits are no laughing matter. He went to hunt them, and they attacked his hunting party until the men all fled screaming.

Nina: Nana that’s hilarious. Haha, hahahaha <choke> heehehee heee, omy gosh ho hoho. Ahem. So that's why you’re scared of bunnies?

Nana: Well, what about the Rabbit of Caerbannog?

Nina: Who was that? Did he attack Stalin?

Nana. No he’s fictional, and from the Monty Python movie about the holy grail, but he’s vicious and the stuff of nightmares.

Nina: Oh, him. Now you’re scared of a fictional rabbit? Seriously Nana, this gets funnier every minute. Are you scared of Eric the Half a Bee too?

Nana: Well there must have been some real bunny who was the inspiration behind that terrifying creature.

Nina: Yes Nana. According to Wikipedia the rabbit was inspired by a carving on the facade of the cathedral of Notre Dame de Paris, which illustrates the weakness of cowardice by showing a knight fleeing from a rabbit. Hahaha.

Nana: Hmph, you think this is funny? Why are there so many bunnies in horror movies then? Tell me that? There is no smoke without fire, you know.

Nina: I suppose because people associate bunnies with innocence, and it’s particularly horrifying to present them perversely.

Nana: Just like you. You look like an angel when you sleep, but the moment you wake up you’re full of terrifying schemes and ideas and endless noise and chatter. No I absolutely refuse to allow a bunny in this house. One of you is enough. Get a parakeet or something. I can teach it to yell at you.

PS: Readers what do you think of the evil cackle of the Lijjat papad bunny, right at the end of the ad? Perhaps, Nana has a point, eh?


This post is a part of the #NinaAndNana series I co-host with Lavanya Srinivasan. Her posts can be found here.

Tags: family, fun facts, Nina and Nana, history, humor, pop culture