Photo by Filip Mroz on Unsplash
Nina: Nana I didn’t really want to play football, but since you were so keen on me playing outdoor sports I looked up some other ones. Want to come play?
Nana: What are you planning to play?
Nina. You have grown some lovely springy grass on your lawn Nana. It’s doing very well. So let’s play egg tossing there. I bet it will be fun.
Nana: Egg tossing? That’s not a sport. And don’t you dare go near my beautiful lawn.
Nina: But Nana it is a sport that has it’s origin in Easter celebrations. The idea is to toss an egg without breaking it. It is usually done in a meadow, but your lawn should be perfect.
Nana: What a ridiculous sport. It requires no stamina or skill.
Nina: But it does require skill Nana. Some children can even make the egg land on the grass while it is still spinning. Isn’t that cool? If you don’t want to play that’s fine. I can call some of my friends.
Nana: Don’t you dare throw eggs around my beautiful lawn. Find another sport.
Nina: Okay, how about wife carrying then? Shall we play that?
Nana: Now you are just making stuff up. Besides, you don’t have a wife. So how will you play?
Nina: No Nana. Wife carrying is a real sport, where a man is supposed to carry his female team member and run through an obstacle course. Would you like to do that Nana? Then I don’t need a wife for it. You can carry me. I’m light and I’ll hold on real tight.
Nana: The idea was to get you tired, not me. You are already good at being a sack on potatoes. You don’t need more practice with it. Why don’t you go play football?
Nina: Wait Nana. I have some more ideas. How about extreme ironing? That will tire me out.
Nana: Whatever is that now?
Nina: It’s a sport that combines ironing with adventure sports. So ironing while skydiving, or while bungee jumping or even biking or tree climbing.
Nana: That sounds fine to me. Get on with it. You know where the iron and the ironing board are kept. You can lug them up to the top of the nearest mango tree, and while you are at it, get me some mangoes too.
Nina: Great! Can I have some of your shirts Nana?
Nana: What? No way! Absolutely not. Take your own clothes.
Nina: No Nana. Extreme ironing requires the practitioner of the sport to produce a well pressed manly shirt at the end.
Nana: Well then if you are in to wacko sports I have one you can play with your friends. Go play Octopush.
Nina: Octopush? What’s that? Never heard of it? Does it involve wrestling an octopus? Will you buy me an octopus Nana?
Nana: Nope. It’s just underwater hockey. You can play it with your friends at the swimming pool at the club. Go shoo now. Get out of my hair.
Nina: That’s easy Nana. You hardly have any hair.
Nana: And you have more hair than wit. Out!